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Blog-Overview

Everyone is asking about sex

All our minds are full of questions about sex and sexuality. Although the internet doesn't seem to leave anything unanswered, there are still many blind spots and taboos. The topics of dating, body awareness, sex are sometimes such taboos. A while ago I received an interview request from bento. Dating and handicapped sex, that's what it should be about. Do you have any idea what my first thought was?

I said I'll talk

You probably remember my blog about intimate questions and personal openness [Let's talk about ... sex?]. For once I will quote myself: “I am open. Open to any question. And open to any answer. "Of course, that is exactly what flashed through my head when I received the interview offer and, coupled with it, a slightly increased pulse with the follow-up to myself:" Janis, are you really that open? " What questions could await me and how far would my openness go then? It was exciting to feel that the topic triggered me a little. Like another one.

My best life is colourful

It's been a while since had my coming-out; In my book, too, I told you how I felt when I realized that I was gay. Legendary: Mother's driving service to the youth group. For me, the best thing back then was that the outing felt right immediately, despite all the uncertainties. Hardly anything is more liberating than letting your own truth come into the light. So, I found the advice that a professional companion gave me a few years later, when my success as a speaker became more and more apparent: “Be careful with the subject of homosexuality. That doesn't go down well with every company. It can block the great success for you very quickly.”

I am what I am

Admittedly, this sentence coming from an experienced businessman who knows "the business" did not leave me, the speaker newcomer, untouched. Of course, a voice inside of me spoke up briefly, unsettling me and making me wonder whether I should be “less gay”. Then instinct and self-esteem gained the upper hand again and the result was clear: I am who I am. I will be authentic, or I won’t show up at all. How could my life be the best life if I sweep something under the carpet, that belongs to me so obviously?

Traitor? No thanks.

In addition, the words sounded interesting to me, because I owe my first stages as a speaker to the topic of diversity, among other things. Renowned organizations such as the “Völklinger Kreis”, “PROUT AT WORK” foundation and the “Charta der Vielfalt” were among those who supported me as a speaker at the beginning, which enabled me to develop further. It is by natural development, that my topics are no longer limited to diversity and inclusion. They cannot be separated from my life. Never forget where you're coming from. Being true to yourself is an essential part of real self-esteem. Certainly, success can also grow on a path of self-denial - but your self will not.

Back to sex

There was of course a preliminary talk for the bento interview. It quickly became clear that, firstly, I would be dealing with empathetic, appreciative, and serious questions beyond any flat voyeurism, and secondly, that it is about more than just sex. Like in real life. It's about more than our labels. It's all about our deepest, inner truth. How much of it we reveal or show, is free for us to decide at any time. The only thing we should make 100% visible is our authenticity.

I have labels like gay, vegetarian, wheelchair users, Waldorf student, etc. Depending on your perspective, I am the incarnation of the fringe group. How about you? Which labels are stuck to you that you like to show the world without any hesitation?

Picture: Katy Otto

The bento interview:

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© 2021 Janis McDavid